The Good Sister Act

Sometimes, the responsibility of being a sister can be very frustrating and exhausting. The need to understand, the need to give away, and be more responsible for certain tasks can zap all your energy that sometimes, you just want to scream. Why does it have to be so hard? Why does it always have to be me? I question why they always have to rely on me, why they can't even be responsible for themselves whenever I'm around.

These are the times when I just want to drop that good sister act, the moments when I am forced to let out a smile instead of a frown, the times when I chose to remain silent rather than to raise my voice. These kind of circumstances can consume all of me and I sometimes end up distraught with aching feelings inside.

Why do I have to do all of these? Why do I have to endure these feelings when I can just let it out and not let myself be bothered and so preoccupied? I was in a very sour mood as I tried to reason with God. I am so fed up. I sought Him while trying to fight back the tears...

Then God spoke to my heart..

"Ella, you LOVE AS I HAVE LOVED YOU. Let my love overflow in your heart like a well, like an everlasting spring that will not run dry even in times of drought. As you do this, I will lead you beside quiet waters, I will give you grace in every trial. I will lead you and carry you close to my heart. And surely, my goodness and mercy will follow you, all the days of your life."

His words in 1 John 4:19 echoed in my head, gently reminding me, comforting me at this time. "We love because he first loved us."

I am amazed at how God instantly brought comfort and renewal to my soul through His words. It certainly is hard to live for Christ in this world, but what drives us is the LOVE of God within us. And through that kind of love we have, we are able to overcome and love even the most unloveable of persons.

This is love for God: to obey his commands. And his commands are not burdensome, for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. (1 John 5:3-4)

God has restored the love in me and made me joyful because of His salvation. Now, I'm even more compelled to love my siblings, to be more patient, to endure more, and to honor and glorify the Lord no matter how hard and painstaking it gets.