YOU Make Me Feel

As I try to examine my life very critically, I see so many flaws, so many mistakes that I made in my past which sometimes can make me feel so ashamed inside. Character issues, patience and self-control problems, the bad decisions, my impulsiveness, and all other things hidden inside - they make me feel ugly and unworthy.

If all of my friends knew every little despicable thing I did and thought of, will they still love me as they do now? Will they still be friends with me? Will they see past those offensive things and accept me? Maybe some would, but I know a lot of those people would turn their backs on me. And maybe others might continue to be friends with me, only to find out how they've been gossiping behind my back.

I only know of one person who is truly and sincerely able to see through all of my ugliness and imperfections - JESUS CHRIST. He saw everything I've been, everything I am, everything I will be. Yet, despite my "ugliness", he chose to love me. He knows everything yet he has been ready to accept me. He knew me very well yet he chose me out of this world. He loved me so much that he was ready to die for me. I knew it in my heart that I didn't deserve it. But that is his GRACE, that is the TRUTH. And really, that's the opinion that would really matter for me. Jesus and me - this is all I need. With all that he has done for me and with all that he's doing within me, he's the only one who can make me feel beautiful inside-out.

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it did not know him. (1 John 3:1)

Walking on Water

We are very familiar with that story in the Bible wherein Jesus walked on the water, much to his disciples' bewilderment. For days now, I can't seem to get that story off my head. I can recall it almost everyday and I know God is impressing something great on me. Let's try to look at how the Scriptures tell this particular story.

Matthew 14:22-33 (New International Version)

Jesus Walks on the Water

Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. When evening came, he was there alone, but the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.

During the fourth watch of the night Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. "It's a ghost," they said, and cried out in fear.

But Jesus immediately said to them: "Take courage! It is I. Don't be afraid."

"Lord, if it's you," Peter replied, "tell me to come to you on the water."

"Come," he said.

Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!"

Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. "You of little faith," he said, "why did you doubt?"

And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, "Truly you are the Son of God."

In real life, no one can really walk on water. Have you seen anyone do so? Well not me. It's a rather impossible feat. But what does God want to tell us through this story?

I believe, we all have our own waters or oceans to walk on - our lives. And it takes a lot of faith for us to be able to walk on it like how Jesus did. We ask God for that boldness and courage to walk on it but sometimes, like Peter, we get distracted by the strong winds we face or the waves under our feet. Our momentary troubles can cause doubt to seep through our hearts causing us to lose our focus on the Lord and lose faith.

It happened to me very recently - a challenge to walk on the waters; a testing of my faith. For many weeks now, I've been full of hope and certainty on a particular promise the Lord told me. God kept surprising me, until recently pressure started to build up inside me. Pressure which gave way to doubt and for me to question God why He has been delaying to answer my prayers. Then came worry, anxiety and little by little, my joy started to fade away. I knew something was wrong. And then I realized that I was thinking too much of the work God intends for me to do that I'm rather losing sight of what He is doing in me. I had to stop. I had to surrender and to submit to His will. I had to trust Him fully. I needed to have FAITH.

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1).

I was there on the waters, at the brink of sinking down, the suddenly Jesus reaches out for my hand to save me. I feel ashamed at how weak and faithless I am before God, yet He has continued to redeem me. And I know He is giving me another chance to walk on the water with him. I need only to do one simple thing - I need to focus on the Lord, I need to put my eyes on Jesus (the author and perfecter of my faith Hebrews 12:2).

Only if we truly learn to trust Jesus with our all, completely, sincerely and faithfully, do we really learn how to walk even on the deepest ocean in our lives. Keep up the good fight of faith! :)